Home-sick.

I've been missing Baltimore a lot lately. Its kinda scary but almost comforting to think that I have a place to visit when shit up north gets bad. It makes me feel not so betrayed by Baltimore and its surroundings.The weather recently got very nice here, around the same temperature it would be in Baltimore. Even though I feel so comforted by this fact, I still pause everytime I call Baltimore home. Its more like my childhood home and I'm in Philadelphia to fill out my life as I was raised to do. I like the idea of the family I have when I'm on the phone. I love them very much.
I had strange trouble getting to sleep last night. I went to bed at 12:15 and I woke up at 12:55 feeling like it was morning and I was going to miss my class. Later on in my sleep, I had a dream that my mother died. I ran from door to door yelling, "My mother fucking died, expect no further from me." I feel like this is how I acted when my dad died and I was kind of dissapointed that I did act that way. However to this day I have no idea how I could of avoided it, specifically at that age. During high school it was a large fear of mine that my mother would die too and I would be left to move to South Carolina or Virgina. I find it ironic that now, I worship moving so much. Now I think my dream just didn't involve letting everyone know, it was more like running away from the inevitable.