In review, I have become fearful that my dreams I'm living are not the dreams I'm dreaming. Fortunately this is not the same way as before, where I could not even imagine having a future. This time I have a future, even if only seen in short spans, I'm not sure the "right" choices were the right ones after all. I'm getting caught up in the circumstance. I have seen so many people make their beautiful lives out of mistakes. I have spent so long making sure I didn't make mistakes. Theres alot of people out there who are formally put on this earth to review my life and make sure I'm doing it right.
And of course, as I am set to leave, I make a connection. And I just want to scream, GOD FUCKING DAMNIT. I try so hard to make an impact when I first come back, and as soon as I accept nothing will happen, everything does. Why can't I make the right mistakes, the beautiful ones, that pop up like spring. You expect them to come but you never know when.
As usual, I just want everything to be perfect. I worked hard for what I have in Philly, and now i don't want to go back for the slightest chance that I might have something with this boy. Hes one of the few that we've liked eachother, and I can see it going somewhere. I still have plently of chances in Philly. Its just I'm not good at dreaming the future.
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